santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.

   Dec 24th , Christmas Eve , the most exciting day of the year no matter how old you are .......

   I bet you were one of those kids that ate the paste while gluing on cotton balls to make Santa's beard.

   Friends are like a string of Christmas lights. Some are broke, some are burned out, others just don't work for you, a few aren't the brightest, some even need you to untangle the mess they are in..but most of them shine brightest when your day is darkest.

   Confucius says "Christmas trees are like priests...their balls are just for decoration"......

   After I get Christmas bought, I will be so broke that come New Years I'm gonna have to party like it's $19.99

   To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas gift.... 📕📗 They are due back at the library today. 😂😂😂

   My wife said I can't have a flamethrower for Christmas.

   FINALLY!!! ..... I'm not being harassed incessantly by my family and coworkers for listening to Christmas Music. It was really rough back in July tho.

   got a head start on Christmas next year, I already have my tree up!

   172 days, 1 hour and 25 minutes until christmas! But hey, whos counting

   You know it was a good christmas party when the next morning you wake up with tinsel in your ass.

   The Media is now reporting that Christmas is actually a Russian plot hatched by Putin & Trump to lure people into a false sense of Joy. They are urging that we reject any feelings of joy and focus on being angry at the 2016 Election results.

   No Cyndi Lauper...you're so very wrong. Girls don't just wanna have fun...they want a whole lotta sh!t. Christmas blows. Sincerely - A broke boyfriend.

   I hate Mondays more than a midget hates getting a Yo-Yo for Christmas.

   Christmas trees are like boobs. Fake ones are nice to look at, but real ones are better.

   It looks like my town's Home Depot is dressing up as Christmas for Halloween ,,,,,,, Really?

   I just cleaned out the fireplace so that "Santa won't get dirty". I did it for my son because I love him, even though he's delusional.

   thinks Christmas must be near. Just found a partridge in one of the pear trees on Farmtown

   I've been living dangerously for the last couple of weeks. My girlfriend got a new cookbook for Christmas.