love Funny Status Messages

   Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant

     The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably generally they are the same people.

   doing laundry. nothing says "I love you" like clean underwear.

   What I love most about my ex is that she is someone else's problem now.

   A picnic is a great way to see what all the foods you love would taste like if you added ants.

   I was in a taxi on my way to work this morning when the driver said "I love my job. I'm my own boss and nobody tells me what to do!" I said "That's really great, now take a left here."

   I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.

   I'd love to come to your holiday party and stare at my phone all night.

   Money can't buy love, but it can buy stuff. And I love stuff.

   Dear Today, thank you for trying. I'm glad you're almost over. Love, X

   I think you should fall in love with a terrible person and complain about it on the Internet for years.

   Chocolate contains 'phenylethylamine'. That's the same natural chemical your brain produces when you fall in love. And you wonder why women like chocolate.

   I love Facebook, it makes me feel kinda normal after reading about all of YOUR problems. Thanks people, and thank you Facebook...

   People say the hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else. Around here the hardest thing to do is replace the empty toilet paper roll and put your dishes in the dishwasher.

   For Halloween I'm going as laundry, women love doing laundry.

   To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.

   I used to love hungary-hungary hippo..... what other game lets you slap somthing on the butt to open it's mouth and swallow balls?

   Happy Mushy-Card-Nasty-Candy-in-a-Heart-Shaped-Box-Big-Balloon-That-Barely-Fits-in-Your-Car-And-You-Can't-See-to-Back-Up-$75-Rose s-That-Can-be-Bought-Tomorrow-for-$20-but-Must-be-Sent-to-"Prove"-Your-Love-Stand-In-Line-for-Two-Hours-to-Eat Day!! <HATE

   What if love was like volleyball... all you have to do is call 'MINE!' and everyone else backs off...

   Nothing says “Good Morning… I Love You!” like morning sex.