love Funny Status Messages

   My dog was starting to take my love for granted so I made her watch one of those really depressing ASPCA animal abuse awareness commercials. This morning she washed my truck and took out the trash.

   I love American Idol. Except for the judges, the singers, and Ryan Seacrest.

   says If two morons fall in love I could care less, but for the love of God please DON'T reproduce and make more of you. There are enough idiots in this world without you making more.

   Like most parents, my wife and I love to proudly watch our beautiful little daughter whilst she sleeps... It does seem to freak out our son-in-law though

   I love spending time with the woman of my dreams, it's the waking up and needing a cold shower bit I hate.

   I love meeting new people until they say something stupid. Most of my friendships last about 3 minutes.

   I texted my girlfriend "I love you" and she texted back "I love you more. When I went to respond I made a typo and sent "I love you moist"....I figured why correct it, it's true too.

   I wear gasoline for cologne because women love the smell of money.

   I'm currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It's called b*tches and hoes.

   If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on

   The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

   If you really need to set aside one day a year to show your "love" then obviously that person doesn't mean much to you

   Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body.

   Just once I'd love to attend a funeral where people are being honest and keeping it real about the deceased asking questions like, "Who here is going to pay me the money he owed me?"

   What Meatloaf wouldn't do for love, I'd probably do for a Klondike bar.

   I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.

   Out of all your lies I love you was my favorite.

   Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything

   Work like you don't have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at

   Dear old love, I used to think I had a really low sex drive. Now I realize it was just that I wasn't really attracted to you.