Monday Funny Status Messages

   Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life!!!!

   apparently cyber monday takes on a COMPLETELY different meaning on some websites

   If the range of decrease in Blood Alcohol Content is 10-20 mg% per hour. I should be able to drive my car next Monday.

   Monday, quit being such a ba$+ard.

   I have Monday phobia ima shut my eyes and when I open them please be Thursday :-)

   I hate it when Pi Day falls on a Monday!

   Joyce, the office slut, just sneezed and now we all have to take a mandatory HIV test on Monday :(

   funny jokes must be a Monday thru Friday job. zzzz

   So, Los Angeles wants Meatless Monday... and probably followed by Tater Tot Tuesday and Weinerless Wednesday...

   Just glad Jesus died on a Friday Good Monday just doesn't 'roll' off the tongue as well

   . The Afghanistan address trump gave monday was very similar to one that Obama gave. Trump needs to get a new speech writer.

   Monday is Memorial Day. I plan on showing my grandsons how to eat corn on the cob typewriter style. The hard part is going to be explaining a typewriter. 🌽

   The 3 worst words to hear right now..."Tomorrow is Monday"

   Dear Monday, nothing against you but I'm glad you almost over. Please ease traffic for me. Sincerely, THE TAILGATER.

   McDonald's will soon be issuing a burger for the monsoon in Pakistan. With every burger purchased they will send a raincoat to each victim of the disaster. The new PAKI MAC will be on sale on Monday.

   Can't wait to celebrate James Earl Ray Day this Monday....

   WOOHOO!!!! IT'S FRIDAY!!!!! Wait a damn minute, I'm working 7 10's, every day is a god damn Monday for me.

   Tomorrow..no lawns will be manicured due to Cinco_de Mayo...not on Sunday or Monday..or rest of the week either...Sorry folks too much Tequila and beer combos.

   There are some 35–45 year old men who think Cyber Monday means something else...

   Not looking forward to the end of the world sat..should be on a monday..