Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   am I the only person watching Fuller House waiting for Bob Saget to tell the daughters how he met their mother?

   No, but I do kiss YOUR mother with this mouth.

   Little Johnny wrote to Santa, "I want a baby brother for christmas." Santa wrote back' "Send me your Mother. '

   My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !

   My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home!”

   I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her.

   When my son was a teen and bragged how he came out of his mother, I reminded him that he came out of me first.

   pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law

   Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your Mother

   Hurricane Sandy is Mother Nature's way of preventing another MTV Jersey Shore cast from happening. She's had enough!!!

   I've have met everyone's mother today via Facebook

   Pope declares Mother Teresa a saint. Kanye West sues the Catholic Church for copyright infringement.

   trading his mother-in-law for a stud service and willing to add cash

   Me: I need to ask you a serious question. GF: OK! First, let me get my mother, sister, BFF and college roommate on speakerphone!! Me: OK, why does a wool sweater shrink when you wash it but sheep don't shrink when it rains??

   My mother talks into the phone like a combat soldier calling in air support. Happy Mother's Day!!!

   "Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."

   i walked past my mother-in-law's house today that was on fire. I spotted her screaming from the top window, "SAVE ME, SAVE ME!!!" ...So I did! ...as my new screensaver.

   Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-laws peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

   still looking for his future mother-in-law with only one very nice and sexy daugther

   Just saw Bigfoot!! Oh wait, its just the mother in law.