life Funny Status Messages

   If I'm ever in the hospital on Life Support, don't just pull the plug. Pull it and plug it back in. Basically, see if you can reboot me.

   I was offered a job today.......Al Qaeda need,s a new leader...I had to turn it down ....couldn't get life insurance

   Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend. Lets all reflect on my life together.

   From now on when some one places a depressing FB status we should all just like it. I'm sad.. my life sucks..FML.. no one loves me.. LIKE That way they get the attention they want and maybe just maybe will get the idea that FB isnt the place to tell ever

   .... There are only two things that are certain in life .... and I took care of one of them today .... let's hope the other one holds off for a while ....

   Well, if you had to grow up with bad food, bad teeth, bad music, and a Euro-Economy....life really is not worth living for.....is it?

   I haven't been this bored since Everlast told me his life story.

   Sometimes You have to realize that ......( some people can stay in your HEART without being in your LIFE ) ......

   Help! I'm an heiress trapped in the life of a peasant.

   Feelings like anger and sadness should probably be embraced. Even though we may not like them, they're all natural emotions and a part of life. After all, the world would most likely be pretty bland if all we felt was satisfaction.

   Life can never give security, it can only promise opportunity. So seize that sh*t like a drug raid at Charlie Sheen's house.

   My life's an open Facebook

   White folks are so comfortable with rap music nowadays that we gonn start seein' fanny packs that say "Thug Life".

   All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.

   That one password you use for everything and if anyone ever figured it out they could single-handedly ruin your entire life.

   Someone just told me that thw word OK looks like a sideways person. I've said OK my whole life and never noticed him. What's up little guy?

   Jesus IS the son of God and God's not dead. Stop living a self absorbed life holding to the flaeed ever-changing religion of Science. it is time that you understand that you are not the one in control.

   well god already hates me cause I dint 4wrd mail to 25 friends of mine. I will never be a wealthy man cause I dint 4wrd another mail of happy wealth to another 25 friends.i will never get the love of my life cause I dint 4wrd love chain mail to another 2

   thinks that when NASA conducts their search for "itelligent life" in the universe, they should first start with Earth.

   My girlfriend just stormed out of an ice cream shop because they ran out of sprinkles, in case you’re wondering if I’m winning at life.