life Funny Status Messages

   "I'm a Barbie Girl, In the Barbie world!! Life in plasic, Its fantastic".....admit it you read this with an annoying womens voice

   Every girl has 3 guys in her life: one she loves, one she hates, and the one she can't live without. But in the end, it's the same guy!

   Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills…making the last car payment.

   Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.

   I find it funny how people throw around inspirational stuff like ‘live your life to the fullest’ after they've spent the entire day on Facebook.

   Lost is actually being played out in real life.

   Don't pay Facebook $2 to 'promote' your latest status. Simply send me half that amount, and I'll repeat it to all my friends in real life. For an extra 50c, I'll throw in a funny face when I say it.

   It's better to have loved and lost, than live with the idiot for the rest of your life!

   I've reached an age in my life where "you shouldn't say that.." turns into "what the hell, let's see what happens..."

   Do you ever feel like you're in Season 5 of your life, and the writers are just doing outrageous stuff to keep it interesting?

   Just adjusted my life insurance policy to include the purchase of a hologram of myself that will blend into the crowd at my funeral.

   It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

   Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider's home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A

   If you are brave to say "good bye", life will reward you with a new "hello"

   The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.

   Dear JB HATERs – I owe my life to Justin. On March 9th, 2009 I was in a coma for 6 months after a terrible car crash. One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song, so I got up, and turned the radio off.

   When life gives you melons... you know you're dyslexic.

   When things don't add up in your life, start subtracting.

   3 little sentences that will get you through life...1 "Cover me" 2 "Good idea,boss" 3 "It was like that when I got here".

   Today at school, they told me to write down what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down happy. They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life.