love Funny Status Messages

   My love comes with more terms and conditions than iTunes.

   When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.

   All I want is for someone to pretend to love me for who I am, then gradually change me over a period of several years until we both hate me.

   You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.

   When two confused strangers come together they call it love, and when they fully know and understand each other, they call it breakup.

   Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish? Kim: I.. *Kanye grabs mic* Kanye: She do

   Everyone around me is obsessed with finding true love. All I want is a girl who will laugh at my jokes.

   Oh for god sake, just fall in love with me already so I can stop acting normal.

   I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.

   When you love someone you check and recheck and then check again to make sure it's them you're sending a text to.

   Love means sharing your thoughts, your fears, your dreams, your hopes and your french fries.

   Loving someone who doesn't love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on, the more it hurts.

   People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh*t to yourself.

   I'm canadian and I want to say to America, Hey I love you guys, but seriously, you gotta take Jersey Shore off the air! You guys work on that and we'll see what we can do about Nickleback and Justin Beiber.

   There's a difference between who we love, who we settle for, and who we're meant for.

   Dogs: OMG YOU'RE HOME! I LOVE YOU!!! Cats: greetings human. as you may have noticed, my food bowl is empty...fill it..I'll be on the couch.

   I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

   I'd love to make money at home in my spare time. But counterfeiting is harder than you'd think.

   I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

   I love getting voicemails from my grandma. They usually consist of a pause, then "I don't think he's home."