love Funny Status Messages

   Love Walmart where everyone can Enter through the EXIT door and exit through an ENTER door!! What are we all on DRUGS??

   There's no way I could possibly be lactose intolerrant!! I love B( o )( o )BS!!!

   Women love taking showers in boiling hot water, because it reminds them of hell, where they come from ...

   I love yoga pants as much as the next guy, but now I also know that my sister has a great ass.

   3 words, 8 letters. 3 syllables, 5 vowels, 3 consonants, 2 nouns, one emotion, many meanings, a big lie, a rare truth: I LOVE YOU!

   making love to your pregnant wife is like putting gas in a car you've already wrecked.

   Oh, Doctor, doctor, can't you see I'm burning, burning..Oh, Doctor, doctor, is this love I'm feeling? OK.. Thompson Twins I am going to say no if you are taking a piss!

   I'd love to be a lifeguard at the gene pool. I'd let a few of them drown.

   I would love to become Facebook friends with a hooker because I bet the status updates would be very interesting if they were honest, like, "Lindsey just made $300 in 15 minutes."

   "My wife and I are SO in love. Always finishing each other's..." (silence) (silence) *Russian accent* "You give me Green Card now, yes?"

   you're an overweight female who wears Yoga Pants everyday? Please continue to do so, I love throwing up in my mouth

   Maybe NYPD can use their new found love for back turning, the next time they see a dark skin person doing nothing wrong.

   wonders if cupid has a job opening??? I would love to shoot people in the a** and get away with it!!!

   They call them "pizza rolls" because"pizza love handles" was too wordy.

   Same old same old __ I frikkin' love weekends :D __ you're welcome!!!

   If you love someone, set her free. If she doesn't come back, start dating her best friend.

   I Like my Job on my day's off, I LOVE my job on paydays!

   No I do not want to watch your sister's wrestling match, but I'd love to see her box.

   The minute people fall in love they become liars

   I'm not h0m0ph0bic, I love my house!