love Funny Status Messages
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Love Walmart where everyone can Enter through the EXIT door and exit through an ENTER door!! What are we all on DRUGS??
There's no way I could possibly be lactose intolerrant!! I love B( o )( o )BS!!!
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03-30-2011 15:00
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Women love taking showers in boiling hot water, because it reminds them of hell, where they come from ...
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05-15-2017 09:53
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I love yoga pants as much as the next guy, but now I also know that my sister has a great ass.
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05-25-2013 12:39
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3 words, 8 letters. 3 syllables, 5 vowels, 3 consonants, 2 nouns, one emotion, many meanings, a big lie, a rare truth: I LOVE YOU!
making love to your pregnant wife is like putting gas in a car you've already wrecked.
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06-02-2010 13:12 by Tracy
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I would love to become Facebook friends with a hooker because I bet the status updates would be very interesting if they were honest, like, "Lindsey just made $300 in 15 minutes."
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03-07-2011 18:02 by Joshman
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"My wife and I are SO in love. Always finishing each other's..." (silence) (silence) *Russian accent* "You give me Green Card now, yes?"
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07-10-2014 01:20
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you're an overweight female who wears Yoga Pants everyday? Please continue to do so, I love throwing up in my mouth
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05-15-2012 22:50 by fadolo
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Maybe NYPD can use their new found love for back turning, the next time they see a dark skin person doing nothing wrong.
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12-31-2014 11:43 by Jbaby
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If you love someone, set her free. If she doesn't come back, start dating her best friend.
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10-15-2013 12:45 by Baddie
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wonders if cupid has a job opening??? I would love to shoot people in the a** and get away with it!!!
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02-13-2011 20:58
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They call them "pizza rolls" because"pizza love handles" was too wordy.
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10-14-2011 03:34 by g0re
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Same old same old __ I frikkin' love weekends :D __ you're welcome!!!
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08-27-2011 18:01
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I Like my Job on my day's off, I LOVE my job on paydays!
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01-30-2012 16:31 by Missy
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No I do not want to watch your sister's wrestling match, but I'd love to see her box.
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04-29-2012 16:07
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I'm not h0m0ph0bic, I love my house!
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01-03-2014 13:50
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The minute people fall in love they become liars
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06-14-2011 14:34
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♥ LOVE always has it`s ``ERRORS`` sometimes we try 2 ``REFRESH`` then realyize it`s best 2 b ``SHUTDOWN`` but the hardest part is 2 ``RESTART`` your life and ``REFORMAT`` your HEART ♥
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06-19-2011 13:06 by RoN
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I was washing my gum and my wife almost put cloths in with my gum !!!!!!! she almost ruined a whole pack !!!!! .........Gonna let it slide cause I love her
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11-19-2014 08:05 by MWC
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