life Funny Status Messages

   just rolled a huge joint out of my harvard rejection letter...life is grand.

   When life hands you lemons, make apple cider. Because life will be expecting you to make lemonade, so you'll have the element of surprise. Then you can be all "yeahhhh son, whatchu got now, life?? Nothing! You got nothing!"

   gave up drinking and smoking... Worst ten minutes of my life.

   I just dropped my bong and it broke :, ( life is cruel!!

   out making some changes in his life...leave a message and I'll get back to you. if I don't return your message your one of the changes

   Life is full of fake people. Before you decide to judge them, make sure you're not one of them. ♥

   thinks that friends are the most important part of your life. Treasure the tears, treasure the laughter, but most importantly, treasure the memories

   What do you mean life is to short?... Its the longest bloody thing you could ever go through!

   I'm almost finished producing my "Tickle Me Emo" doll. When you tickle it... it says "My life sucks," "I need more black hair dye" and..... these pants aren't tight enough. I just need to stop it from cutting the box it comes in, before it's sold.

   I have come to the conclusion that my adult life was contrived by a stoned teenager.

   If you ever reach a point in life when you are 'too old' or 'too mature' to enjoy Hey Arnold, you're dead inside

   Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes.

   Life is a jingle as long as you are single. Once you are double you are inviting trouble.

   my life is like a romantic comedy except there's no romance & its just me laughing at my own jokes.

   People who complain on Yelp, It was one meal out of your entire life. Calm down.

   Whenever somebody calls me ugly, I give them a big hug. I can only imagine how hard life must be for the visually impaired.

   The most best things in life can't be seen or touched....at least that's what the restraining order says.

   My life is just a series of flight or flight responses.

   Facebook can turn a real life devil into an online angel with a well written status...Power of the internet!!!

   wondering if fix a flat will bring my blow up doll back to life?