love Funny Status Messages

   America: love it or leave it. L left.

   Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.....and who said statistics don't have a beginning, middle, and end.

   I love Pope John Paul, George and Ringo.

   Hey dad, where are mountain lions from?... *dad panics*... Uhh...you see, son, when a mountain and a lion love each other very much...

   If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you wagging its tail, you're in love with a dog & it probably just had to sh*t.

   pizza is the only love triangle I want

   "Never say goodbye when you still want to try. never give up when you still feel that you can take it. ...never say you no longer love a person when you can't let go..

   Her: Do You know how much I love you? Me: how much? Her: This much *spreads legs*

   Love sucks. True love swallows.

   Love is like a Hot Pocket: If you rush into it, you’re bound to get burned.

   It seems like everyone is in a relationship or in love and I'm just here like, “I like that tree. That's a nice tree.”

   Bill Brasky once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!

   I love the instant bowel cleansing I receive after eating McDonald's food!

   Happy Valentine's Day to my right hand. I love you more than the left!

   I do hateful things for which people love me, and I do lovable things for which they hate me. I'm admired for my detestability.

   True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.

   I'm attending the next Trump rally because I love puppet shows.

   I love Beer. I would marry Beer if I could. ''Do you, Beer, take me to be your awfully wetted wife....until a DUI do us part? I LOVE YOU, BEER!"

   Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink... But if you must lie, lie in the arms of you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death., and if you must drink, drink in the moments that takes your breath away....

   That thin line beween ‘I love you' and bullshi t.