love Funny Status Messages

   Things you should never do after a breakup: 1. Listen to love songs. 2. Read old messages 3. Read their statuses, tweets or updates.

   If you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you, it has really low self esteem and you should exploit that for sexual favor.

   Dear Women, We're not lying, we're trying to prevent you from killing us. Love, Men

   I am just a boy standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him.

   Husband during anniversary dinner, "I love you so much, let's go do it in the alley. I'll give you $30."

   It takes two people to fall in love + one to wreck it.

   My Mom is made entirely of flaws,, Stitched together with good intentions and a pantload of love....Love you Ma.

   Last night my wife is sipping a glass of wine while sitting with me, she says: I love you so much I don't know how I ever live without you! Me: Is it you talking or is it the wine? Her: It's me talking to the wine!

   Twilight. A love triangle between a mentally handicapped girl, a disco ball, and a hairy pedophile.

   WANTED: A single girl who can cook, love and has a good Job. Must have a house and a car. Please send me pictures of your HOUSE and CAR.

   Every time I see you my heart flutters, and time slows down. So either I'm in love or having a stroke!

   I'm 99.9999% sure you're not in love with me, but it's that 0.0001% that gives me hope and keeps me holding on.

   I hate people who can't make up their minds. I love them.

   Hey pistachio with the shell welded shut.. I know you've been hurt before, but I just want to love you... Let me in, Baby....

   Process of liking a song: 1 Day: I love this song! 1 Week: Hey that song's good. 1 Month: Turn that s$it off! 1 Year: OMG, I love this song!

   Text this to someone: I just love making you check your phone for no reason, who's my bi$ch? You are.

   Whoever said "If you love something, let it go" should have clarified that statement with "but not if it's a baby!"

   So my son keeps getting in trouble at school so I go to meet his teacher and she is Hot.. So after I left the teacher my son says " so now can you see why I love getting asked to stay after class". What can you say to that!!!..jamie wallis

   I love it when I get things delivered that I ordered when drunk. Its like a gift from drunk me to sober me .

   I love a nice dark red with hints of oak and floral overtones. And, it was a double flusher!!