santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.

   Friends are like Christmas lights. Some are broke, others just don't work for you....and there are others that make your day shine bright.

   wants to personally apologize for those that couldn't get their gifts from Santa: He died of laughter when I told him I had been nice all year......

   note to self for next Christmas..... don't leave deer jerky out for Santa - cookies are a better choice...

   Santa is like a repair man, says he will be there between 12 and 4 and shows up at 5. What a jerk

   outsmarted Santa this year... see I need coal to heat my house, so I was extra bad so I would get more coal! Now who's laughing fat guy?

   thinks businesses that make their employees work on Christmas day are from the devil! Except for the gas stations and all of the other businesses I'm going to need today.... those ones are sent from God!

   I think I overdosed on my family.....Santa has the right idea....only visit some ppl once a year.....

   Christ's Hope Rescuing Iniquitous Souls To Miraculously Administer Salvation!!! Thank God for Christmas!!!!

   If you can't figure out what to get someone for Christmas, get them a gift card! It's like saying, "Here's $20... go get your own damn gift!"

   eating Babybels at this special time of year. After all, Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without the baby cheeses.

   I dont believe in Santa...but with no money in my pocket ....I think I will change my opinion about him.....

   if my right leg was christmas and my left leg was easter, I would love for you to visit in between the holidays

   Try this experiment: The next time someone says "Oh, I'm fine..." look them square in the eyes and say "Tell me the truth." Sometimes all people really want is someone to take an interest. Show them you care all the time, not just at Christmas.

   all alone on christmas so why not get drunk ? Beers in the fridge !

   asked Santa Claus for a boyfriend this Christmas... He gave me a rain check instead... lol :)

   looking forward to the family tradition of listening to the UK's No 1 after Xmas dinner. Can't wait to see the look on my mum's face!

   Dear Santa, Define Good. Love X

   To America's welfare recipients..."your welcome for a great year and a free Christmas"...from the rest of us hard working Americans that work for hard your well being every day.  

   Just left Walmart, to get out of there, I had to strangle 6 moms, run over 12 kids, and kick 1 grandma in a scooter. There goes my present from Santa.