life Funny Status Messages

   Some girls put more effort into naming their Facebook photo albums than I put into my life.

   Sometimes all you need in life is some really good sex.

   I haven't been this bored since Everlast told me his life story.

   Don't pay Facebook $2 to 'promote' your latest status. Simply send me half that amount, and I'll repeat it to all my friends in real life. For an extra 50c, I'll throw in a funny face when I say it.

   The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it. Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of ur life, starting now.

   Life was easier and simpler when I was apart of the Sheepeople herd.

   Being strong-willed does NOT mean I am a b itch. It means I am in control of my life, stick to what I believe in and do NOT rely on anyone but myself.

   I have been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions

   If I had known life was going to be a test I would have cheated more.

   We now have cable TV shows entitled, "Cooking With Honey Boo Boo". My life is clearly over..........

   If I don't make some serious changes to my life, they'll never let me into the gates of heaven. So who can teach me how to pick a lock?

   The only thing I want negative in my life is pregnancy tests.

   It's true. Girls just want to have fun. And ruin your life in the process.

   Not all mushrooms give you an extra life.

   Don't worry about being alone on Valentine's Day. Worry about being alone the rest of your life.

   Thought for the day: An HMV gift card is not just for Christmas.... it's for life...

   Video games ARE to blame for the amount of violence in society. I'm not even comfortable talking about the amount of real life turtles I've jumped on.

   All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of Lay's potato chips.

   I find it a little insulting when I do a facebook search for an old friend, and I get a message stating, "Sorry. There's no account set up for this person who obviously has a life."

   In the popularity contest that is Facebook, I'm currently in 609,264,326th place, slightly higher than in real life. Win!