life Funny Status Messages

   im gonna try to improve my life .....↑↑↓↓← →← →B A START ....no it didnt work

   How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?

   So pathetic when some people use Facebook as their drama diary. Every. Freakin. Day. If your life is really that bad, you should probably do something about it. No, whining on Facebook is not considered "something."

   My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD Bin at Walmart.

   It's better to have loved and lost, than live with the idiot for the rest of your life!

   There is no polite way to suggest to someone that they have devoted their life to a folly.

   The only reason I've made it this far in life is because I have the Hyrule Field theme song from Zelda playing on repeat inside my head.

   Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.

   Men need 100% talent to succeed in life....... Women need only 4%..... because the remaining 36+24+36 helps..

   Im thinking about writing a book about my life, I just have to wait for the statue of limitations to expire

   Madonna looks pretty good for someone who spent most of her life trying to defeat He-Man.

   Life Fact #37: it's impossible to have a bad day when you're wearing 'Hello Kitty' underpants ツ

   Don't you hate it when Ur girl or wife ask you life questions while you watching a important game # biiioootch ask Steve Harvey

   Hey mothers who are always telling everyone who cares to listen, "My kids are my life" If your kids are your life how come you hardly spend time with them and are always out clubbing and parting like there is no tomorrow every other day of the week?

   Let’s all join hands and remember the Golden Rule of Life: Do not feed the trolls.

   The majority of my life is spent alone, the rest is spent feeling alone.

   If you're skinny already why the heck are you trying to diet ? What are you trying to lose ? Your life ?

   My life is a movie. One of those movies where most of the people start leaving right in the middle of it.

   When life gives you a hundred reasons not to go to work today.....don't argue with it.

   I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.