love Funny Status Messages

   If love is a battlefield, and love is also blind, it makes sense why the outcome is always a huge disaster.

   Just wrote my wedding vows, it says, "I'll love & respect you, for fear of the death penalty for murder." Incase anyone wants to propose...

   You say "love means never having to say you're sorry" What I hear is that essentially your love is a narcissistic sociopathic minefield.

   Never forget to love your family.. because when everyone is in and out of your life, family is always there

   If you don't love me at my worst, good call. I wouldn't put up with me either.

   I love it when a beautiful woman is also intelligent. Makes spanking her ass bright red that much more rewarding for both of us.

   Love is when she throats you so deep she throws up on you, composes herself, then keeps going. She only regrets she had to stop for a moment.

   Finished watching The Little Mermaid with my daughter. I believe it taught us all a valuable lesson. Men will fall in love with women if they can't talk.

   If you love something,, let it go..... That's EXACTLY what I've done with my body....

   I've decided I'm not going to have kids. I love babies, but I'm just not ready for the commitment of uploading that many photos to Facebook.

   Her: I think it's over. Even after we made love last night he showed no emotion and just rolled over and went to sleep. Him: I hate it when my team loses. Oh well, I least I got some pu$$y!

   I promise to love you for better or until things get worse.

   Me: Tell me about yourself. Her: Well, I love to laugh! Me: Wow, how unique! Next…

   When I am in love, I'm like a bird soaring through the sky straight into a window.

   Coffee makes the world go round; love only populates it!

   ''If he doesn't hit you, he doesn't love you.'' - Rihanna

   Women always say they love a man in uniform but when I go clubbing in my McDonald's outfit no one will even talk to me

   You know that song... You give love a bad name...Pretty sure that was meant for me.

   Only those who dare to fall in love will grow a lot wiser.

   I know you love me baby. I know. Which is why I got this restraining order on your ass.