love Funny Status Messages

   If you don't love me at my worst, good call. I wouldn't put up with me either.

   I love it when a beautiful woman is also intelligent. Makes spanking her ass bright red that much more rewarding for both of us.

   Love is when she throats you so deep she throws up on you, composes herself, then keeps going. She only regrets she had to stop for a moment.

   Finished watching The Little Mermaid with my daughter. I believe it taught us all a valuable lesson. Men will fall in love with women if they can't talk.

   If you love something,, let it go..... That's EXACTLY what I've done with my body....

   I've decided I'm not going to have kids. I love babies, but I'm just not ready for the commitment of uploading that many photos to Facebook.

   Her: I think it's over. Even after we made love last night he showed no emotion and just rolled over and went to sleep. Him: I hate it when my team loses. Oh well, I least I got some pu$$y!

   I promise to love you for better or until things get worse.

   Me: Tell me about yourself. Her: Well, I love to laugh! Me: Wow, how unique! Next…

   When I am in love, I'm like a bird soaring through the sky straight into a window.

   Coffee makes the world go round; love only populates it!

   ''If he doesn't hit you, he doesn't love you.'' - Rihanna

   Women always say they love a man in uniform but when I go clubbing in my McDonald's outfit no one will even talk to me

   You know that song... You give love a bad name...Pretty sure that was meant for me.

   Only those who dare to fall in love will grow a lot wiser.

   I know you love me baby. I know. Which is why I got this restraining order on your ass.

   Oh, let's play that love game where you ignore me constantly and it kills me inside, then I start ignoring you too and it gets your attention!

   X is I'm a good boyfriend..I always talk to her, play with her, touch her buttons...I definitely turn her on... I love you Xbox.

   Unsure what love is, but my ex girlfriend thought going through my phone had something to do with it.

   Chicken pot pie.... the three things I love the most