santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Time to go out and pretend I'm putting up Christmas lights I never took down from last year.

   I think my neighbor it drunk, he is taking his Christmas lights down!

   I can't decide whether The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie.

   It looks like your supermarket is dressing up as Christmas for Halloween.

   Seen a baby wearing a shirt saying; "Santa doesn't exist, but that's okay, because I can't read."

   If ‘ifs' and ‘buts' were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.

   santa was right when he looked at you and said "ho ho ho"

   Nothing says to a robber, "I have brand new never before opened electronics piled up in my living room." Like a Christmas tree.

   I'm collecting every toy that the neighbors kid throws in my yard, I already have tons of Christmas presents for my nieces and nephews this year!

   Why is "Children in need" always towards christmas time? Having to give gifts to the kids I already know is hard enough, but I have worked it out, their more happy with an empty box then the gift...

   My parents accused me of being a liar. So I looked them straight in the eye and said "Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, Easter Bunny." And walked away like a boss

   I didn't sleep very well last night. everybody's going to get a shamwow and pajama jeans for christmas. damn you infomercials!!!!

   Christmas is my favorite four months of the year.

   Congrats on ur Bar Mitzvah. Today you r a man, which you'll now illustrate by going apes*** over presents.

   4 out of 5 bubble baths result in Santa Claus beards.

   I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up. They have no holidays.

   I predict that if, by 21 December 2012, the world doesn't end, I'll still have to buy christmas gifts..

   ‎5 reasons hurricanes are like Christmas...5) Family & friends out-of state-calling you 4) Last minute shopping in crowded stores 3) Days off from work 2) Candles 1) And at some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!

   My girlfriend called me sad because I always plan things months in advance. That's her off my Christmas card list!

   Manager: A room with double bed? But sir you are alone? Santa: Yes, It is just that I wish to enjoy the silence from the other bed.