Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6272 of 6373
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
thinks that We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
planning to hire a singing fat lady and take her to work, just in case someone says his tasks ain't over yet
←Rate |
11-11-2009 07:39 by S
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Whats the difference between a wife and a prostitute? One's on contract,the other's pay-as-you-go.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
..is sleeping naked. I just wish that stewardess would go away. I don't care if there are children on this plane!
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Going to walmart with some friends of mine. Thats the best place to play hide-n-seek.
←Rate |
11-11-2009 02:45
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
if I stand on my tip-toes, I can see the weekend from here!
←Rate |
11-11-2009 00:34
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
in a personal vacation inside my head
←Rate |
11-11-2009 00:08
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
eat, drink and make merry coz tomorrow we may diet.
←Rate |
11-10-2009 23:32
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML
←Rate |
11-10-2009 22:43
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive.
←Rate |
11-10-2009 22:04
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Life aint nothing but a hide and go seek with death!!
←Rate |
11-10-2009 21:23 by Supanova
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
used to be legit. He was too legit. He was too legit to quit... but now he's not legit. He's unlegit. And for that reason, he must quit.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Forget a "dislike" button , id rather have a "This makes me want to punch you in the freakin throat" button
←Rate |
11-10-2009 18:43 by Vinny
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
←Rate |
11-10-2009 18:37 by zee
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Anyone caught singing Christmas carols between now and Thanksgiving will be slapped.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
←Rate |
11-10-2009 17:21
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Why is it that Volvic Mineral Water, which has been filtered through volcanic rock for millions of years, has a Best Before date?
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
wondering who was the first to look at a cow and think;"ill just squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out of it!"
←Rate |
11-10-2009 15:38
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
had a handle on life, but it fell off with the wheel
←Rate |
11-10-2009 15:36 by Charleigh
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
can hit the snooze button, with eyes closed, while half asleep, in 1.7 seconds, the first try, every time
←Rate |
11-10-2009 15:34
Comments (0)