Funny Status Messages

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   not practicing Catholic so she's not giving anything up for Lent, but for those of you giving up alcohol, she's set up a collection bin outside her door>

   Hav finally finished my 40,000 piece Jigsaw, it reads- " Get a life you sad F**k "

   So, ummm, Rihanna? Could you please give me a little variety in your music? I swear, woman -- ALL of your songs have the same beat and consists of you repeating multiple words multiple times. Work on that.

   Maybe T-Mobile and Sprint should fight it out on which is the better carrier. It help boost their sales. Its working with AT&T and Verizon.

   Tomorrow Tiger should say "I blame this sh*t on NIKE, they said just do it"

   Everyone's days are numbered. It's called a calendar.

   Gave a hot guy at the bar a high five, came back over to my friends and said yeah....I hit that.

   there are plenty of fish in the sea, too bad i'm a shark...

   3 YEARS OF THERAPY ....GONE ....in 60 sec

   They keep telling me that the right person will come along. I think mine got hit by a truck.

   How could anybody in the World think that "wRiTiNg iN tHiS wAy" is cool??? It's only a language murder and a terrifying waste of writing-and-reading-time...stupid kids, have you got the hiccough???

   read that Toyota is asking all Prius owners to return cars to the dealerships as slowly as they possibly can.

   I have always been told to never say "never." On that note, never get into a food fight with cannibals and never be caught dead with a necrophilac.

   wishes the planet Pluto was still considered a planet. Happy birthday Pluto (Feb 18, 1930-Aug 24, 2006)

   wonders if anyone sees the irony of Goodyear providing the official arial coverage of the olympic games when they are a tire company...

   learn how to spell and type before you attempt to post a status message!

   Got a call from my mum. She wanted help with her jigsaw puzzle. I said "Sure thing,just look at picture on the front of the box.". "Its not helping"she said. "Its just a stupid rooster!" "Mum,you daft cow" said. "Just put the cornflakes back in the box."

   a guy dating a twin, haha, try telling her she's one of a kind!

   I hate it when people don't let me sleep, especially when I'm driving