Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6109 of 6382
changed the title of today from: Bill Paying Day to Check Writing Day. Yes, I am writing checks...but the bills are not necessarily gonna get paid. We'll see who posts them at the bank faster! Moooowahahahahaha
←Rate |
03-03-2010 18:15 by Hot Tea
Comments (1)
..when people write "is ;-)" as their stat message,you tend to think,well,if I was ";-)" would I stop and write a stat update about it? Obviously you're not ";-)" very well.
You know you're fat when you sit in the bath and the water in the toilet rises.
Relationships are like farts... If you push too hard, things could get messy!
There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count & those who can't.
Party every day that begins with the letter T. Tuesday and Thursday? Nah, TODAY and TOMMOROW! :)
←Rate |
03-03-2010 16:47
Comments (0)
wondering if Jewish Rabbi get paid for circumcision or do they just keep the tips???
Today, I was told I was being too patronising which means I was treating them like they were stupid.
←Rate |
03-03-2010 16:03 by bigedusw
Comments (1)
...when two's company, three's the result...
←Rate |
03-03-2010 13:32
Comments (0)
...says there's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away...
←Rate |
03-03-2010 13:28
Comments (0)
Definition of mixed emotions: seeing your mother-in-law go over a cliff in your brand new Porsche.
wants to pull over a police car, flash a badge & say "Fu**" Y*U for once.
←Rate |
03-03-2010 12:09
Comments (0)
joining Hokey Pokey Annonymous.....to turn myself around.
←Rate |
03-03-2010 11:39
Comments (0)
If people criticise or hurt or shout at you, dont bother. Just remember that in every game audience make the noise, not the players
←Rate |
03-03-2010 09:45 by mr. k
Comments (0)
thinks if Senator Jim Bunning wants to make a point to US, reduce the pensions, Soc.Sec. and lifelong health benefits for politicians!!
←Rate |
03-03-2010 09:15 by richfa
Comments (0)
will be forever indebted to the person who creates a vaccine for stupidity.
←Rate |
03-03-2010 07:59 by GirlX
Comments (0)
wonders if Lil' Wayne will hear "lick it like a lollipop, son" now that he's in jail.
←Rate |
03-03-2010 07:54
Comments (0)
today will mostly be dry with a few wet patches but enough about my trousers
←Rate |
03-03-2010 07:19 by goose
Comments (0)
FASTEST means of Communication : 1) Phone 2) TV 3) Internet 4) Tell A Woman (For even FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE)
←Rate |
03-03-2010 03:53 by Danmanz
Comments (0)
why can't Twitter just die already?
←Rate |
03-03-2010 03:45 by Danmanz
Comments (0)