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It may be Pre-Season Football, but I'm drinking like this game really counts.
14
5
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08-25-2010 12:45 by
MBH
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0
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You're only young once. After that, you need some other excuse for acting like an idiot.
13
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08-25-2010 12:41 by
MBH
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People accuse me of being overly competitive. I'm not. I'm the most non-competitive person in the world. No one even comes close.
42
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08-25-2010 12:41 by
MBH
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0
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Victoria's Secret: objects in this t-shirt may be smaller than they appear.
72
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08-25-2010 12:39 by
MBH
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0
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Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want 'cause you're not driving.
62
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08-25-2010 12:38 by
MBH
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0
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I wish I was friends with a midget so I could introduce by saying, "Say hello to my little friend."
52
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08-25-2010 12:36 by
MBH
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If you're wearing sweat pants either you just worked out or you've never worked out.
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08-25-2010 12:35 by
MBH
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0
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Just once I'd like to see someone in a movie call bullsh*t when someone tells them their phone number starts with 555.
73
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08-25-2010 12:33
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4
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Captain Obvious must have been the last superhero name available.
3
7
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08-25-2010 12:32 by
MBH
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0
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I'm watching Scarface 'cause I'm gangsta... On VHS 'cause I'm old school.
36
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08-25-2010 12:31 by
MBH
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0
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Love is like a beach ball at a rock concert. It's fun for the people that get to be a part of it and just plain annoying for everyone else.
12
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08-25-2010 12:29 by
MBH
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0
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I wouldn't call it a career, it's more of a soul-sucking paycheck making machine.
22
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08-25-2010 12:28 by
MBH
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0
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When you count, it's called push-ups. When you don't, it's called sex.
31
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08-25-2010 12:27 by
MBH
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0
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No meal tastes as delicious as the meal that someone else cooks.
5
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08-25-2010 12:26 by
MBH
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0
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McDonald's is like a one night stand. I crave it. It feels good going down. I completely regret it afterwards.
25
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08-25-2010 12:25 by
MBH
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0
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The only thing I hate about having a phone is when people call.
10
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08-25-2010 12:22 by
MBH
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0
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Dear reply-to-all sender, we obviously have a mutual friend here and even though I've never met you, I hate you already.
18
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08-25-2010 12:21 by
MBH
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0
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Well officer, it wasn't public urination until you started looking at me.
140
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08-25-2010 12:18 by
MBH
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0
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just b/c a hoe is throwin it at you don't mean you gotta take it. its like boxing, you don't take every punch thrown, dodge that b1tch.
12
4
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08-25-2010 11:31
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0
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Having your gf/bf break up with you and saying: We can still be friends. Is like your dog dying and you mom saying: You can still keep it
30
16
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08-25-2010 11:17 by
@KMAC_MSE
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0
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