santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages
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Christmas - when loved ones visit to celebrate someone born in a barn but complain that your sofabed's uncomfortable.
Merry Christmas! Or as my grandma always says, "there are whispers coming from the poinsettia again."
For Christmas I gave myself an obscene amount of vodka. I'm so thoughtful.
the only reason I enjoy Christmas is because it is the one time of the year that my habit of sitting in front of a dead tree, eating chocolates out of my socks, whilst waiting for a strange fat man to enter my house, is considered a normal event!
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12-25-2011 17:21
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"stepping on a frog"just isnt that funny at Christmas dinner at the in-laws.
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12-25-2011 16:20 by fatbutt
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I hope everybody enjoys the new air guitar I sent them for Christmas.
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12-25-2011 14:42
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I found a sealed turkey sandwich, ranch dressing and gatorade in my car. Santa must of mixed my car up with my stocking.
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12-25-2011 13:01
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if you negate those who celebrate for the presents, or for the excuse to drink, or for the day off work, or for the reason to party, or for a morning in bed, the amount of people who truly celebrate Xmas is lower than the nos of actors in a 1 man show!
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12-25-2011 12:57
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I may not always celebrate holidays, but when I do, I prefer Christmas. Stay cheerful, my friend!!
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12-25-2011 11:28 by TMcD
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When first talking to your kids about Santa, don't say he's God's drunk brother in law. Trust me...
Excellent! My prediction of the millions of "Merry Christmas" status updates is coming along perfectly. Now all I need is a million "Happy New Years" status updates and my goals of knowing the obvious will be complete.
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12-25-2011 04:27 by Danmanz
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If all my Christmas presents were wrapped in bubble wrap... it's be like two gifts in one!!
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12-25-2011 02:49 by JaxWylde
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i hope santa brings me my post apocalyptic survival kit tomorrow! aka: a 12 pack
This just in... Casey Anthony just got ran over by a reindeer, walking home from the stripclub Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas everyone!
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12-24-2011 23:02
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Merry Christmas (I'm not showing off but I bet I get that trending all day today)
You say toilet, I say Christmas beer vomit receptacle.
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12-24-2011 21:11 by fadolo
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If judging others is a sin, Santa must be going to hell.
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12-24-2011 20:54 by fadolo
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I'm dreaming of a liberal Christmas, where nothing is paid for, I always sit on the couch with my hand out, waiting for the people with jobs to pay me more.
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12-24-2011 20:47
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.Merry Christmas to most,and to a select few of you may santa flush his $hitter over your chimney!
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12-24-2011 20:30 by JOHN
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guess I have got to that stage in life where I am either too old for presents or my family has converted to hinduism in my abscense :(
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12-24-2011 18:48
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