friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   getting ready for May 21st (this Friday) which is Talk Like Yoda Day...practicing we should be, hmm?

   decided to burn some calories this weekend so I set a fat kid on fire.

   Dear Beer,I forgive You for abandoning me during tough times during the week, I love You for coming back on weekend and will French kiss You, till sobriety do us apart!

   's Words of Wisdom: Mondays are God's punishment for what you did during the weekend!

   I love it when Friday is in town :))))) because she always brings her friends Saturday and Sunday along too!

   Friday...the dirty librarian of the days of the week...she starts out all respectable but by 11 o'clock you know some crazy sh#ts going down...

   Conan O'Brien was on 60 Minutes this weekend . Jay Leno appeared 30 minutes in to take over due to 60 minutes "losing viewers and profits."

   Monday morning is the time we go through photos from the weekend and figure out what the hell happened. I swear that goat said he had ID.

   says Happy Friday @ 5:00 pm! If an ice cold, tall, 22 ounce Miller Lite is wrong, I dont wanna be right...

   Weekend - you teased me! I was so enjoying you and then you went away. Come back. I miss you. (*sob, sob*)

   A friday with out Booze is like a Church without a priest...

   According to Apple, 300,000 people did not have sex this weekend.

   April is Alcohol Awareness Month and being Friday and all.... tonight I will make special plans to investigate alcohol all night long... Now that I have made you aware...I have done my part !

   I want to thank e-Harmony for the free match weekend...they are amazing...found my perfect match, sent the profile, and pic...we are getting together later today...I am so impressed and very curious how they got a picture of my left hand....

   You know those couples where the wife is 40 something and looks like 20 something, and the husband makes over 100k and the teenagers are respectful and good looking and they go out to eat together on Friday nights as a family? I HATE those people!

   Friday, I've tried to see other days and none compare to you, I love you.

   dont forget to turn your clocks back this weekend, i'm turning mine back to 1970 when we had no illegal immigrants

   I need some transition time from the weekend... can we drink during lunch breaks this week to get back to normal?

   Thanks to all my FB Friends, for once again, reminding me it's Friday. This is also FB Spring Cleaning Weekend. Time to remove all the apps, polls, fan pages, pictures and friends you just don't need or want anymore.

   will be weed smoking and turkey pulling this weekend... oops! reverse those verbs!