love Funny Status Messages

   On Monday, Chipotle will begin selling tofu burritos in the New York area. So if you love burritos, and you love tofu . . . you probably don’t exist.

   Tell her you'll change. B*tches love change. Just ask Obama.

   Buy her a time machine, because women love bringing up the past.

   I love those people who can make me laugh during those moments when I feel like I can’t even smile.

   Some call it love, I call it vodka.

   I would love to put out a comic labeled "For Mature Readers" that is just a heartfelt meditation on aging and mortality.

   I love You Tube. You can look up everthing. It's Google the Movie musical

   I love it how doctors show you pictures of smoker's ugly lungs and non smokers healthy lungs when technically both sets of lungs came from DEAD PEOPLE.

   Bring me pizza and beer and me love you long time.

   The big movies right now in theaters are Robocop, Endless Love, and About Last Night. I feel like it's the end of the 80s all over again.

   The less you know about someone, the easier it is to love them.

   Man I love watching women's curling in the Olympics. It's the only time I get to drink beer while cheering on women sweeping and no one slaps me.

   Valentine Day weekend is over. I think Helen Keller plays the role of cupid in my love life.

   Today I'm wearing my new underwear, On the front it reads "I would do anything for love" and the back says "But I wont do that"...

   Happy Valentine's Day to my right hand. I love you more than the left!

   Happy Valentine's Day, Peeps! Love is hard to find, so give some, get some, buy, rent or lease some, loan some out if you have extra. Spread a smile at work, wink at a stranger at lunch, or give a happy wave to someone in traffic. But above all else, i

   So when love comes knocking at your door answer it stark naked

   "I only like you as a friend, but I'm not going to tell you until you fall in love with me, because I want to break your heart." - Women

   Love isn't going to knock on your door, unless you fall in love with a Jehovah's Witness.

   Jesus Love You is a good thing to hear in church but a bad thing to hear in a Mexican prison.