Funny Status Messages

   the line was so long at chick fil a, I got some KFC to eat while I waited...

   believe in the magical idealism and the theory of the absolute individual

   I seen a Lady driving a 18 wheeler on the highway today..Thought to my self.. Thats a funny looking kitchen..

   went out on a Friday and woke up one Monday in Bratislava chained and naked on a bench in the lap of an unknown man named Miroslav

   Screw College!!! The mere fact of owning a Twitter or Facebook account gives everyone a dual doctorates in political science and economics.

   Anyone remembers walking far away from your house just to see how good is your wireless home phone reception before it goes out?.....Man did those phones have good battery- life

   lesbians are boycotting chick fil a by eating tacos!!

   "My girlfriend just broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair... It's ok though, She always comes crawling back."

   Chick-Fil-A opposes same sex marriage but I heard their fries were waffling...

   What's that movie where Tyler Perry pretends to be something he's not… you know, a director?

   The Care Bears taught me so much growing up... no not the emotional crap. They taught me it was OK to stare.

   As a woman, it's part of my default settings to be right. Always.

   When push comes to shove, isn't that just a fight waiting to happen??

   What's a nice guy like you doing in a b!tch like her?

   I almost forgot to update my status that I'd been to the gym. What a waste of a workout that would have been!

   What's the best poison for rats and people who reP0st sh!t??

   You health nuts are gonna feel real stupid when you're laying in the hospital dying of nothing.

   Listen baby, You're the person I want to spend my life with for the next hour.

   My first potential date since my breakup was canceled due to sleep. Also, her boyfriend might have been upset.

   Underwear, pants, then go outside. Underwear, pants, then go outside. You'd think I would have this nailed down by now.