love Funny Status Messages

   Why do you Americans have to involve race in everything? Leave it to the media to put ideas into your minds. The country/world will never know peace until we start referring to each other as human beings. One Love...

   Wife: You bought beer again!? Me: It followed me home. It needed love. I adopted it. [whispers to beer] Say hello to mommy.

   Don't forget to alienate people People love aliens

   If hearing “I love you” was enough, we’d all buy parrots and live happily ever after

   Who says you can't make someone love you? I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

   I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.

   I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.

   No thanks "Love Quotes" account. I get all my love quotes from P0rnHub.

   I think I may be getting harder to love.

   I think I am beginning to understand Americans. I now know they love guns, blowjobs, masturbation, naps, not wearing pants, pizza, beer and a good murder.

   It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they're like, "Thank you for choosing Domino's."

   Love your neighbor, but don't get caught...

   I was washing my gum and my wife almost put cloths in with my gum !!!!!!! she almost ruined a whole pack !!!!! .........Gonna let it slide cause I love her

   My love life is like a unicorn. I don't have a unicorn.

   I'm asian, but not "me love you long time" asian.

   A "Duck Dynasty" musical is in the works. It's predicted to be very popular with fans of "Duck Dynasty" who also love musical theater. In other words, nobody. Actors who audition should be proficient in singing, dancing, and hiding their sexual orientatio

   Well, son, when a man loves a woman very much he expresses that love by slowly transforming into a human sloth.

   It’s so embarrassing when you say, "I love you, too," only to realize the person was waving to someone behind you.

   Star Wars fans never get laid because they're looking for love in Alderaan places.

   X says Falling in love is like jumping off a very tall building. Your brain tells you - it's not damn a good idea, while your heart tells you - you can fly.