love Funny Status Messages

   No thanks "Love Quotes" account. I get all my love quotes from P0rnHub.

   I think I may be getting harder to love.

   I think I am beginning to understand Americans. I now know they love guns, blowjobs, masturbation, naps, not wearing pants, pizza, beer and a good murder.

   It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they're like, "Thank you for choosing Domino's."

   Love your neighbor, but don't get caught...

   I was washing my gum and my wife almost put cloths in with my gum !!!!!!! she almost ruined a whole pack !!!!! .........Gonna let it slide cause I love her

   My love life is like a unicorn. I don't have a unicorn.

   I'm asian, but not "me love you long time" asian.

   A "Duck Dynasty" musical is in the works. It's predicted to be very popular with fans of "Duck Dynasty" who also love musical theater. In other words, nobody. Actors who audition should be proficient in singing, dancing, and hiding their sexual orientatio

   Well, son, when a man loves a woman very much he expresses that love by slowly transforming into a human sloth.

   It’s so embarrassing when you say, "I love you, too," only to realize the person was waving to someone behind you.

   Star Wars fans never get laid because they're looking for love in Alderaan places.

   X says Falling in love is like jumping off a very tall building. Your brain tells you - it's not damn a good idea, while your heart tells you - you can fly.

   No its not "cute", its actually quite slutty looking, and yes I love it!

   I was in a taxi on my way to work this morning when the driver said "I love my job. I'm my own boss and nobody tells me what to do!" I said "That's really great, now take a left here."

   Here's a tip for you travellers, when Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar on Me comes on your ipod in the airport, DON'T sing along. I spent 12 hours explaining that I was just singing the lyrics "Love me like a bomb, b...b...b..bomb"

   I don't think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.

   If you have no love to be thankful for, at least be thankful for all those bullets you dodged.

   love yourself first. send yourself romantic texts. take yourself out on romantic dates. hold your hand in public as a show of affection.

   BREAKING NEWS: California becomes first state to ban plastic bags...People who love picking up dog crap with their bare hands rejoice.