Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Don't Kanye me!!! or I'll Chris Brown yo a$$... and Tiger Woods your mother!

   I got 99 problems but a mother f**king jay z ticket aint one of them.

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

   Looks Like Kate Goselin Is As Bad A Dancer As She Was Wife And Is A Mother. Jesus Stay Home Lady We Have Had Enough!

   Mother rabbit to baby bunny: "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions."

   "no one told you life was gonna be this way," but later in the same song... "you're mother warned you there'd be days like these"...well did your mother tell you or not? Can I get some consistency please?

   "no one told you life was gonna be this way," but later in the same song... "you're mother warned you there'd be days like these"...well did your mother tell you or not? Can I get some consistency please?

   It would make your mother proud if you could NOT, walk, talk, spell, and wear your damn pants like you were raised by a rap video your whole life.

   would like to say on this last day of Winter. Winter, Kiss my Mother F*#$ing A$$ and DON'T HURRY BACK!!!

   I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask "Mother,what was war?" -Eva Merriam.

   trust is like a mirror you can fix it if its broken but you can still see the crack in that mother fuckers reflection!

   So it's mothers day and I had trouble deciding what to get my mother-in-law I couldn't choose between a Toyota Prius or a holiday in Haiti, so eventually I plumped for luging lessons in Vancouver.

   I saw your mother naked and everything went black!!! I think my eyes were trying to protect my heart!!!

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

   Dear Mother Nature, hey, thanks [sneezes] for choosing POLLEN for plant reproduction....no, really[sneezes]....the stuff is great.....

   My son is on 11 months and can't talk but sometimes I think it's fun to imagine what he would say if he could... like this morning; I imagined him saying "Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster

   Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.

   Definition of mixed emotions: seeing your mother-in-law go over a cliff in your brand new Porsche.

   My father was a dentist and my mother was a manicurist.They kept fighting tooth and nail.

   in front of his home with every electric fan he owns blowing upward, in a defiant act against Mother Nature.....Enough with the snow lady, just go watch "The Waltons" reruns until Spring......