Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Deep Inside We All Know Money Is Everything..

   Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.

   roses are red, violets are blue, I'm sorry babe, got nothing for you.

   Guys, for Valentine's Day leave 3 notes scattered around your house for your girlfriend that say "Will", "you", and "me." That'll keep her busy while you watch sports.

   Today shopping malls will be empty... however parking lots will be full...

   If you didn't want me to sleep at work, maybe you shouldn't have given me the paycheck to buy the drugs w/ in the first place. Work's fault.

   I overheard my girlfriend on the phone to her bff saying she wants to get engaged on Valentine’s Day. I hope she finds someone nice.

   It's Valentine's Day... If you arer married, go and kiss your wife or husband, if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, do the same... and if you are single, kiss the ground and thank GOD!!! =)) HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

   Valentine's Day is the day that the “V” and “D” come together ...

   The best part of Valentine"s day is no more Vermont teddy bear BIG HUNKA LOVE BEAR commercials.

   Happy Single's Discrimination Day!

   The Oscar Pistorius "The Blade Runner" murder story has taken over the headlines. Would't it be an even better story if he used a knife to kill her.

   Steve Martin had his first kid today at the age of 67... and that is how it's done. Happy Valent Times day to him."

   I shot my girlfriend with a cupid's arrow thinking that she would fall more in love with me, but now she's just laying there on the ground ignoring me.

   Oscar Pistorius will try and plead temporary insanity! I personally do not think he has a leg to stand on!!

   I'm spending Valentine's Day with my x.......... box 360.

   Nike has to stop it with this "Just do it". First it was Tiger Woods. Then Lance Armstrong. And now Oscar Pistorius.

   feeling sad because you don't have a Valentine. Cheer up, no one loves you the rest of the year either

   It looks like cupid saw his shadow again this year!

   Happy Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.) Everyone!