santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   It's tough watching Charlie Brown's Christmas with my dog because both us know he's never won a lights display contest...

   I didn't have any girl to spoil for Christmas this year so my bank balance is looking healthy.

   Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.

   Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.

   I start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, i'll be seeing six or seven.

   Every time someone uses Xmas instead of Christmas a kitten gets punched in the balls.

   Whoever made up the saying "It's the thought that counts" never got a pair ofcrocs for Christmas.

   I think I'd rather be waterboarded than have to hear one more Xmas song.

   Just wanted to wish happy holidays to engineers of the electricals. Your postt manage to survive!

   This time of year there is always that one house that has like 15 of those inflatable Christmas lawn decorations. In the daytime it looks like there was a drive by shooting at the North Pole with no survivors.

   No thanks I am not drinking alcohol for now. I am saving myself for Christmas eve.

   Today is the official day for guys to start Christmas shopping!!!!

   There will be no more need to worry about being on Santa's naughty list........Obama shut down the coal industry

   My wife said she wanted a clean, fresh start in the new year. Merry Christmas babe, here's your Hoover.

   my mature level IS , I still giggle when singing about nuts in christmas carols

   No Miley, Santa doesn’t have a "twerkshop"

   My friend is staying in a hotel on Christmas Eve, which sounds really depressing, but I bet Mary and Joseph would have killed for that.

   To see my family over the holidays I have an appointment book. Just so there is no fender benders.......

   My Christmas present to all of you? I took a naked selfie and deleted it.

   You may remember me from such events as ruining Christmas dinner.