Timk Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'Timk': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 1

   messageicon Now that everyone has cameras you'd think there would be more pictures of UFOs, Bigfoots, ghosts, etc.
←Rate | 04-21-2015 21:18 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
←Rate | 12-05-2014 14:25 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Does anyone know when the Christmas Tree lighting ceremony is set for Ferguson this year?
←Rate | 11-25-2014 20:05 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Next time I make a comment about an ugly Christmas sweater I'm going to make sure there is a party going on. Another life lesson learned!
←Rate | 12-17-2014 20:15 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey protesters, they ran out of participation medals. GO HOME, there is nothing for you.
←Rate | 11-10-2016 21:09 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm watching the hurricane coverage on the weather channel. I hate to be insensitive but, can anyone really pay attention to what the officials are saying when the sign language lady is flailing about?
←Rate | 09-12-2018 21:26 by Timk Comments (1)  

   messageicon Now that I failed with this year's New Year's resolutions I can get on with the rest of it guilt free.
←Rate | 01-04-2015 12:01 by timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Defense attorney: "They were on their way to choir practice".
←Rate | 11-10-2016 21:10 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't get too excited about Die-ins. They're not really dead! They're just acting like they can't take orders from police.
←Rate | 12-23-2014 21:58 by timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder if Hillary has any stains on her pants suits.
←Rate | 04-12-2015 18:24 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon According to Monster.com there is a ton of openings in the Baltimore department tourism.
←Rate | 05-02-2015 20:07 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm Amish but, I consider myself extreme Amish because I use electric.
←Rate | 12-05-2014 20:43 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon New Year, New Me!!! my @ss, woke up and it's still the same me.
←Rate | 01-01-2015 12:22 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon I lost my "Shweaty balls" recipe. I'm sure I'll find it after I go to the gym tomorrow.
←Rate | 12-21-2014 22:44 by timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Seeing eye Pit Bulls. They're for rough neighborhoods.
←Rate | 04-30-2015 16:22 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Patriots better deflate that frigging ball or they are going to be in trouble.
←Rate | 02-01-2015 21:40 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Huge Star Wars fan, Can't imagine a world without Spock.
←Rate | 02-27-2015 18:24 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon The amount of money you'd need to donate to ALS for me to do the Ice bucket challenge this time of year would cure ALS.
←Rate | 12-05-2014 20:49 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing say's "Happy Mother's Day" like a uterus shaped pizza!
←Rate | 05-10-2015 19:31 by Timk Comments (0)  


[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left