Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I came into this world with nothing and still have most of it.

   if you want to appear like an employee, just wear a security card, hang around looking seriously. :))

   Obama is like that one kid in Kindergarten that quits playing when he doesnt get his way.

   I can't believe I missed the season finale of the US Gov't last night!!

   n't out government great...now thay have decided to shut down because they can't all agree on how to spend the imaginary money that has not even been printed yet.

   Well, everyone at this red light certainly knows who the best goddamn air drummer is.

   I before E except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor...

   From the government shut down we’re getting to the fact that we need small scale minds in government like a fish needs a bicycle.

   Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

   Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. :|

   Half of writing history is hiding the truth. :)

   Superiority complex: a psychological defense mechanism in which a person's feelings of superiority counter or conceal his or her feelings of inferiority. 

   There are three types of lies -- lies, damn lies, and statistics.

   In Africa we experineve governemt shut down everyday I'm hustling hustling hustling

   I just tore the tag off my mattress................... What you gonna do Obama?

   Well I guess if a prison system and busting people self medicating because they can't afford to go to the doctor is what keeps McDonald's on the table, what's a body to do?

   Shutting the government down is just an excuse from spiteful idiots in congress to get a free paid vacation.

   Now that the government shut down it's time to turn off the government give away cell phones !

   You can really see how much Americans care about their government when they are more worried about GTA Online's current shutdown instead.

   "Do you know why I pulled you over?" "No, officer." The cop removes his shades and looks to the horizon with teary eyes. "Neither do I."