snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

   Throughout all this freezin weather and snow we have been gettin,all my mrs has done is stare through the window.....i guess if it gets any worse I'm gonna have to let her in !!!

   Since when does 3-6 inches of snow draw the need for a winter storm warning? Back when I was a kid, we just called that winter.

   You're always told to “Wear something bright at night” on the TV and in magazines. Last night when I went to the shop, I wore a white hat, white coat and white trousers – I got hit by a f-kin snow plough!

   The weather is such a slut, when its hot out it makes everyone take there cloths off, the wind is always blowing people, the rain make everybody wet, and the snow covers everybody in white stuff.

   Im tired.Ive just finished painting all the rocks in my garden white...Just in case my neighbour wants a snow ball fight later this week.

   One good thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors

   if Winter was alive, I would hunt it down and kill it..."

   A grown man making snow angels in the yard shouldn't be so strange...dressed in a clown suit playing the bagpipes sure as hell made it weird.

   wondering where the white goes when the snow melts.

   converted my dishwasher into a snowblower: bought the wife a new snow shovel for her birthday!

   Went out tonight, saw many women with hot costumes including Sexy Snow White, Naughty Nurse, Hot Cop, Horny Devil, French Maid, etc....but not one Will Leave You Alone During The Football Game and Give You a BJ during Halftime. The search continues...

   I've heard that the Eskimos have over 80 words to describe snow. Hell, they should get jobs in the Lipstick Color Naming Department at Revlon

   ‎"This is what we do in Florida. We wear hoodies and sweat pants when the temperature drops 4 degrees. Get with it or go back to shoveling snow in Canada, jerk."

   The first of the Chile miners has came outta the hole, rumors have it, that he seen his shadow....6 more weeks til winter!

   How do you find will smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints...

   Fat Girls are good for two things. Heat in the winter and shade in the summer

   Women ask for advice on what to wear and then end up wearing the exact opposite.. that's why I think Snow Pants and Leather Jackets are sexy as hell on them."

   So how many other corpses did Prince Charming kiss before he finally woke Snow White from her death sleep?

   Terrance & Phillip should've really done the "lighting of the torch" during the Winter Olympics back then.....too late now.

   i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passed out. when you wish upon a star...