Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Lime flies when you're having rum.

   Samsung won't stop until they create a TV so curved it watches itself.

   Just seen a picture of Rihanna fully dressed. Man these hackers don't sleep.

   it really fair to say that Joan Rivers died at 81? Most of her wasn't even old enough to drink.

   I can't believe so many of my friends were close to Joan rivers...

   I hit a deer last night. It died instantly. I feel awful, but when I'm jogging I'm in my own world.

   For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid

   (o)(o) + $$ = ( o )( o )

   Watching Kate Upton's easter video. Something is rising and it ain't jesus.

   Rest in piece Joan Rivers, someone who was very real and completely fake at the same time.

   Wanna hear a joke? Your love life.

   If Jennifer Lawrence really wanted to keep her photos private, she should've kept them hidden in Lois Lerner's email.

   I have tweets with one or no stars,, so yes Grandpa, I can imagine what the Vietnam war was like

   Read an interesting article about the "iPod" at the doctor's office today.

   Joan Rivers may have been too old to be an organ donor, but be on the lookout for some fresh new faces on your local mannequins.

   I wonder if Joan Rivers is an organ donor or a mannequin donor? ....

   All Yoga becomes "Hot Yoga" once the down dog pose starts.

   One of Americas most beloved mannequins passed away today #RIPJoan

   Will Joan Rivers be buried or recycled?

   Joan Rivers passed away at 81, but her face was only 12. . .