Friday Funny Status Messages

   Black Friday is when Kim Kardashian shops for a new husband.

   feels like Simba in Lion King, you know that part where he's stuck in the stampede, and his dad dies saving him, but then later he meets Timon and Pumbaa... f*ck black friday I'm going home to watch Lion King."

   Great Black Friday deal!!! : Sleep..... $0

   Black Friday... Where the difference between "in line" and "on-line" is about 3 1/2 hours.

   For my constipated, politically-correct readers: Happy African American Friday!

   If Black Friday involved gunplay, I would have been up hours ago. And turned one on myself.

   why dont gas stations have black friday specials

   Note to self: Try not to run out of TP the day after thankgiving....Now I'm gonna need a 40 ounce beer and a few "disco biscuits" to deal with all these "Black Friday" freaks!

   Black Friday...the day when normal people turn into zombies armed with shopping carts.

   While your looking for deals this black Friday....I'll be at your house finding a better deal

   was camped out at Target waiting for Black Friday and got pepper sprayed by police who mistook me for an Occupy Wall Street protester.. :-/

   I wonder if my drug dealer is going to have any Black Friday deals.

   I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

   It's Friday, Saturday's less hungover neighbor.

   In life everything has a Yin & a Yang. Without demoralizing Monday mornings, there would be no debaucherous Friday nights.

   I've reached that time of day on a Friday afternoon when I know I'm not going to get anything worthwhile done so the only solution is to not even bother

   Friday Night. I've missed you. You've been coy and bashful all week long. So you abide by the "lady in the street but a freak in the bed" motto. Oh... I see we see eye to eye. I'll be waiting for you when the sun does down.

   It's casual Friday. Go give your boss the finger!

   It smells like... FRIDAY!! (In case your sniffers busted.=)

   Good morning Friday...tell your pal Monday he needs to come around here tomorrow so all my friends can get back to work so they don't forget how great it is to work for a living.