santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Why do the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?....any scholars out there?

   WIFE: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas. ME: {drinking toast} Why?

   Hacked into Santa's computer and obtain is naughty girls list........ Looks like there be no more lonely nights for me.

   I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.

   You people can keep blaming your weight or tight fitting clothes on the holidays if you want, but I am not going to lie to myself, most of you were Fat in December too

   Big moment here: I just finished building that gingerbread house for the holidays.

   There are 361 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up. This is getting ridiculous.

   During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.

   I really hope that I don't get another sweater for Christmas. I'd much prefer a moaner or a screamer. lol!

   why is Santa so jolly? Cause he knows where all the naughty girls live.

   Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you said you were gay.

   Spice up the holidays with random quotation marks: "Merry" Christmas to your family / Merry Christmas to "your" family / Merry Christmas to your "family"

   One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "OK, send me your mother.

   Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don't think soooo.

   I assume nowadays the Christmas family portrait theme involves four people staring into their electronic devices next to the Christmas tree...

   I asked Santa for Hillary Clinton for Christmas, but he said “No, You’ll Shoot Her Eye Out!”

   Want to see somethine scary? When your house is full of teenagers for the holidays, unplug your wi-fi.

   its christmas time. lets see some funnies and not democratic bull

   I don't care what we have for Christmas dinner as long as it's lasagna.

   I decided to use Craigslist to do all my Christmas shopping. Look's like everyone's getting used couches this year.