life Funny Status Messages

   guess I have got to that stage in life where I am either too old for presents or my family has converted to hinduism in my abscense :(

   Of course I have life goals...they just have NHL level goalies blocking them.

   Life would be much easier if Christmas decorations grew on trees.

   My ultimate goal in life is to someday sing 800-CASH-NOW in a JD Wentworth commercial.

   When somebody says you've changed, it's only because you stopped living your life their way.

   If you are living your life without giving an "f", You are living a li[ ]e .

   The average life expectancy of a reindeer is 8-10 years. I think it's probably safe to quit singing about Rudolph.

   Life is to short to remove USB safely!!!!!!

   If you go through life without giving a "F" then you are only living a Li[ ]e.

   Your picture on Facebook (`▽´) .Your face in real life : (‾(••)‾)

   video game logic: Everyone worse than me is a noob. Everyone better than me has no life

   Some people are like fast food…they never look as good in real life as they do on TV.

   My life is like 1-ply toilet paper..I get the job done but I have no idea how.

   The life expectancy of reindeer is 8-10 years. We can stop singing about Rudolph now.

   At a wedding reception someone yelled: "All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living…" The bartender was crushed to death…

   Girls; Real men look for women who are mature, and know what they want in life; Players will take you either way.

   Now only if my real life friends could learn to be as cool and funny as my Facebook friends, then I wouldn't have a reason to be on Facebook.

   Life is a b!tch, and Monday's its son..

   It's hard to get people's sympathy when your life is in shambles, mainly because the word shambles sounds so darn adorable. Shambles!

   I throw lemons at life and say learn how to live.