nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   I just got a call from the NFL office...they must have gotten wind of that 1 flag football game I ref'd in 2002

   I suggest the Jets put Tim Tebow at cornerback to replace Darrell Revis. Nobody can keep the football away from receivers like he can.

   Ladies.. Yall had 7 months to get mentally prepared for Football Season. We dealt with yall Loser Wives shows all year!

   There are females getting ignored RIGHT NOW because football is back. Y'all will get the sidechick treatment all season. Keep ya head up tho

   Don't get me wrong, I love football just as much as the next guy but if she want's to do it during game time, football is the last thing on my mind.

   Wondering, Don't you idiot Desert Dwellers realize Americans are watching Football today and could give a $hit less about your protest.. @wasteofenergy

   Ladies, leave the football related posts to us boys and we'll leave the laundry posts for you...

   If Bobby Boucher's mama is right about football bein the devil then a lot of us are going to hell :P

   Ladies, it's football season. Time to dust off your vibrat0rs.

   I take some pride in the fact that I don't need football season to be a terrible husband.

   It's like my Fantasy Football players aren't listening to a single word of the speech I gave to my TV.

   On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.

   Football officially starts its regular Sunday rotation tomorrow. So ladies, if there's anything that you wanna say to your husband, today's the day!

   Glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 10:00 AM on a Saturday.

   Across this country right now, college marching bands are practicing call me maybe in time for the kickoff of college football.

   My girlfriend came in while I was watching the football highlights she said, "Awww, is this the Paralympics?" I said, "No, it's Dallas Cowboys."

   If swimming would just add one shark, I would watch it more than football.

   "Can't You Just Let Me Watch The Damn Football Game?" ~~ the Working Title of my new Childrens book, probably....

   "Can't You Just Let Me Watch The Damn Football Game?" – the Working Title of my new Childrens book

   The NCAA should allow Penn State to continue playing football, but their scores shouldn't be reported for 15 years.