love Funny Status Messages

   I accidentally took my girlfriends birth control pills..... As soon as I'm done crying I'm gonna B*TCH you out....... Oh....... I love you! ♥

   Heard they have a new Michael Jackson video game out.....I bet the Pedophiles are gonna love this.

   Oh I love seven layer cookies!!! Each layer compliments the next. Right as the coconut starts to fade, HELLO Mrs. butterscotch!!!!

   How come men go to $trip clubs with other men? I'm thinking of getting a b0ner later, you wanna come? Come on man let's go get some b0ners, my treat! I love going out with my buddies and getting b0ners with them...

   Do you know why Californians love Thanksgiving Day?...It's the only time of year they get to see natural breast!

   I love it when I drop my iPod and my headphones save it's life!

   Its much easier to to turn a friendship into love.. then love into a friendship.

   I do because I can. I will because I am able. I give because I've been given. Just a few reasons I love to 69. ;)

   thinking I should write a book about living with A.D.D., because I love home renovation. #squirrel 

   Why I love winter: 1. Christmas morning with my kids 2. Snow 3. My wife keeps her clothes on during sex. 4. Liquor in my car stays cold

   there any good boxers named mario? would love to see super mario fight pac man

   I love the looks that can only be shared with you and another customer in a grocery line

   God must love stupid people. He made so many.

   Money can buy a fine dog...but only love can make him wag his tail.

   I love gamers. While they are busy playing Call Of Duty, I am busy answering their girlfriend's call of duty.

   People now a days throw the word love around like its a goddamn frisbee! How are you going to start dating someone and 4 days later post how much you love them? B!tch you dont even know them!

   Morning texts are for people you love, Midnight texts are for people you wanna f*ck

   Pirate pick up line 101: "I love your eye-patch and how it brings out your other eye."

   I love my wife, and God bless her for packing my lunch. But when you whip out a fruit roll up on a construction site, you get looks!

   Some cool ways to trick a woman into bed include "being kind," "making her feel special" & "showing her respect." They love that shi#t