love Funny Status Messages

   I do because I can. I will because I am able. I give because I've been given. Just a few reasons I love to 69. ;)

   thinking I should write a book about living with A.D.D., because I love home renovation. #squirrel 

   Why I love winter: 1. Christmas morning with my kids 2. Snow 3. My wife keeps her clothes on during sex. 4. Liquor in my car stays cold

   there any good boxers named mario? would love to see super mario fight pac man

   I love the looks that can only be shared with you and another customer in a grocery line

   God must love stupid people. He made so many.

   Money can buy a fine dog...but only love can make him wag his tail.

   I love gamers. While they are busy playing Call Of Duty, I am busy answering their girlfriend's call of duty.

   People now a days throw the word love around like its a goddamn frisbee! How are you going to start dating someone and 4 days later post how much you love them? B!tch you dont even know them!

   Morning texts are for people you love, Midnight texts are for people you wanna f*ck

   Pirate pick up line 101: "I love your eye-patch and how it brings out your other eye."

   I love my wife, and God bless her for packing my lunch. But when you whip out a fruit roll up on a construction site, you get looks!

   Some cool ways to trick a woman into bed include "being kind," "making her feel special" & "showing her respect." They love that shi#t

   A life without love is like a year without summer.

   Love is always giving more than you can spare.

   How is LIL WAYNE, a man with a wife, ex-wife, 5 baby mommas, 3 boos, 2 hoes an a partridge in a pear tree, gonna tell me how to love.

   Attention Herman Cain.....Democrats would love for you to win the Republican nomination. They have no need to go out and harm your campaign.

   What do you think of when you hear the word woman? I think of lingerie, stilettos, cosmetics, sweet perfumes, love. What about when I hear the word wife? I think of nagging, booze and staying out till late.

   I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.

   If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. And if they refuse to be let go, get a restraining order.