love Funny Status Messages

   Women like to hear things like, I love you and you're so pretty, while men like to hear things like, you're not the father or I swallow.

   Love is trusting someone around your butt-hole.

   I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

   Girls are like phones. They love to be held, talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.

   I think about you all day & I can't wait to sleep at night just to see you in the morning. This is how I know our love is real, food.

   Sometimes I screw up intentionally just so I can say, “You were right dear” B itches love hearing “You were right dear”

   "So You Think You Can Tickle A Polar Bear" is a show that I would love to watch.

   Tell me you love me. Then get in the kitchen, make me a sandwich and let me play my video games so I know it's real

   If your girlfriend is not a Psycho then she isn't in love.

   Don't try and fix me, just love me dammit!

   You'll know it's real if I still love you when I'm sober!

   I bought a pair of "Meatloaf" underwear today..on the front it says "I would do anything for Love" and on the back it says "But I wont do that"

   I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.

   Hate mondays, annoy tuesdays, ignore wednesdays, smile thursdays, love fridays, enjoy saturdays, damn sundays.

   I wish I loved anything as much as drunk girls love taking pictures.

   Some girls seem to think that LOVE stands for Legs Open Very Easy!

   My new GF: "Wow, look at all this beer you have in your fridge. You must love to drink." Me: "No, I just hate to run out of beer."

   Let's fall in love with each other but end up marrying other people.

   Ain't no worse feeling than someone you love thinking and believing you did something you didn't even do.

   I'm beginning to think that "love" really doesn't mean much to tennis players...