love Funny Status Messages

   I really love my new tattoo. "No pain, no g"

   Oh for god sake, just fall in love with me already so I can stop acting normal.

   I would hurt the people that I love for a taco right now.

   I texted my girlfriend "I love you" and she texted back "I love you more. When I went to respond I made a typo and sent "I love you moist"....I figured why correct it, it's true too.

   I love being in that mood where everything is hilarious!

   I love it when a girl tell me she is not a slut and then 2-hours latter I've got her feet behind her ears while screaming my name.

   I love when my husband plays terrorist, he knocks down my walls

   I love the stick figure family's on your car windows they let me know how many garbage bags to bring to the murder.

   You can love your country without having to love your government.

   I love it when she's hot for me, or just hot for someone and I happen to be there.

   I had mice in my kitchen til I replaced mouse traps with tiny notes that said,"I'll love you forever". They left me for my neighbor.

   I love cats! They taste just like chicken

   All this restraining order means is that I love you too much.

   I love when my boss catches me actually doing work.

   Hold still, I'm trying to make you fall in love with me.

   I love looking up at a guy when I'm giving him head. Once we lock eyes, and I smile, I own your ass.

   Spending quality time with the people that really matter reminds me of who I am and recharges my love, hope and drive. I'm forever grateful.

   Don't get me wrong, I love football just as much as the next guy but if she want's to do it during game time, football is the last thing on my mind.

   We will probably never understand why girls fall madly in love with douchebags.

   Fake Love: Her: Good morning love of my life, beat of my heart. Him: God morning sunshine, reason I live. True Love: Her: coffee if you want it. Him: Ehhhh.