life Funny Status Messages

   Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, Life is short, so PARTY we must

   i was thinkin about adoption to fill the void in my life, if only I could find someone willing to adopt me..

   I had a near-life experience...I nearly quit Facebook.

   Negative Thoughts + Negative People = Negative Life

   Life is s( o )( o ) much funnier when you have a dirty mind.

   One of my ex's dreams in life was to go on a helicopter ride, so like the good guy I was, I made it come true. She was air-lifted to the hospital after I cut the brake lines on her car

   If your life ever seems boring just remember that you are on a rock floating in outer space.

   Life seemed more interesting when everyone owned a flask.

   When life sucks I sit back and enjoy the head

   What's that thing that's like Photoshop except way easier to use and it's for real life? Oh yeah, vodka.

   What's that thing that's like Photoshop except way easier to use and it's for real life? Oh yeah, vodka.

   sure dude, you can have a smoke, and i'll light it for you, but tell me, have you ever even bought a pack of cigs in your entire life...oh its ok..yeah, I kno, you'll buy me a pack..ok yea

   Life can take you anywhere. And here we are.

   Life is unpredictable. Just when you think you've got enough lotion on your skin, you may just get the hose again.

   I need to get a gun rack for the work truck to hold two things important in my life right now...job prints and my fishing pole.

   Your picture on Facebook (`▽´) .Your face in real life (‾(••)‾)

   I'd like to thank my digestive system for getting rid of all the sh!t in my life, without you I'd be full of it!

   Everyone deserves one free kill in life.

   Some people in your life are there to serve a certain purpose, well this is your notice your services are no longer needed.

   I'm still waiting for the day that I will actually use x² + why +8 [(x + 2y ² = a-z] + 2x ³ + (- 2z = 2. 4) + 10y - 5Z ³= k= 9 in real life