santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Cashier: do you want cash back? Me: I mean who wouldn't. There's ring of fire, I walk the line. Let's not forget his christmas album
←Rate | 12-07-2019 08:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new study found that 1 percent of men buy gifts for their loved ones at gas stations on Christmas Day. Nothing shows Christmas warmth like a nice bottle of top-shelf anti-freeze.
←Rate | 12-11-2019 10:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas is less than two weeks away. I do most of my shopping online. But I hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while I'm doing it so I get the whole holiday shopping experience.
←Rate | 12-11-2019 10:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not one of my normal posts. Bit more serious. If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can they let me know, I need to borrow some chairs.
←Rate | 12-11-2019 12:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone in this group know of an old couple or even a single old lady or man who will be eating alone this Christmas? I am having friends and relatives over and need to borrow a few chairs.
←Rate | 12-12-2019 11:11 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Instead of sending friends Christmas cards, is it ok If I return the ones I got and just add the words "Me too"?
←Rate | 12-12-2019 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon *gives ex wife's next door neighbour a drum kit for Christmas*
←Rate | 12-12-2019 15:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you've seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
←Rate | 12-12-2019 15:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I fell asleep reading my hard copy of "A Christmas Carol". The book slid off my lap and landed square on my big toe! Man, that hurt like the dickens.
←Rate | 12-12-2019 16:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m dreaming of a White Christmas and yes I mean cocaine
←Rate | 12-13-2019 00:40 by kisstopher73 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We went to buy a Christmas tree last night. It's supposed to be fun, right? At the end of the night I was so crazy I put the tree in the backseat of the car and strapped my kid to the roof.
←Rate | 12-13-2019 06:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember children, the best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
←Rate | 12-14-2019 10:08 by MiMisHouse Comments (0)  


   messageicon Is it to early to break my new year's resolution or should I wait until after Christmas?
←Rate | 12-14-2019 11:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas needs to be less commercialized so remember whose birthday it is.
←Rate | 12-15-2019 11:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell the age of an artificial Christmas Tree by the lines of tape wrapped around the box it's stored in.
←Rate | 12-15-2019 19:17 by MiMisHouse Comments (0)  


   messageicon Untangling Christmas lights is the closest my wife and I have ever gotten to S&M.
←Rate | 12-16-2019 06:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas is really kind of weird. “Let’s all sit around a dead tree in the living room and eat candy out of our socks”
←Rate | 12-16-2019 07:54 by Rickster Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa: I can't wait for the cookies I'm gonna get in Colorado.
←Rate | 12-16-2019 16:13 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mark Zuckerberg, All I want for Christmas this year is fonts.
←Rate | 12-16-2019 16:26 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Opened a Christmas card today and rice fell out....Must have been fro Uncle Ben.
←Rate | 12-17-2019 07:14 by BBB Comments (0)  




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