love Funny Status Messages

   Like my Great Grandmother always used to say,,,, 'Marry someone who will love you for your posts and not your profile banner.'

   I love a nice dark red with hints of oak and floral overtones. And, it was a double flusher!!

   I love it when I get things delivered that I ordered when drunk. Its like a gift from drunk me to sober me .

   So my son keeps getting in trouble at school so I go to meet his teacher and she is Hot.. So after I left the teacher my son says " so now can you see why I love getting asked to stay after class". What can you say to that!!!..jamie wallis

   Whoever said "If you love something, let it go" should have clarified that statement with "but not if it's a baby!"

   Text this to someone: I just love making you check your phone for no reason, who's my bi$ch? You are.

   Process of liking a song: 1 Day: I love this song! 1 Week: Hey that song's good. 1 Month: Turn that s$it off! 1 Year: OMG, I love this song!

   Hey pistachio with the shell welded shut.. I know you've been hurt before, but I just want to love you... Let me in, Baby....

   I hate people who can't make up their minds. I love them.

   I'm 99.9999% sure you're not in love with me, but it's that 0.0001% that gives me hope and keeps me holding on.

   Every time I see you my heart flutters, and time slows down. So either I'm in love or having a stroke!

   WANTED: A single girl who can cook, love and has a good Job. Must have a house and a car. Please send me pictures of your HOUSE and CAR.

   Twilight. A love triangle between a mentally handicapped girl, a disco ball, and a hairy pedophile.

   Last night my wife is sipping a glass of wine while sitting with me, she says: I love you so much I don't know how I ever live without you! Me: Is it you talking or is it the wine? Her: It's me talking to the wine!

   My Mom is made entirely of flaws,, Stitched together with good intentions and a pantload of love....Love you Ma.

   It takes two people to fall in love + one to wreck it.

   Husband during anniversary dinner, "I love you so much, let's go do it in the alley. I'll give you $30."

   I am just a boy standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him.

   Dear Women, We're not lying, we're trying to prevent you from killing us. Love, Men

   If you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you, it has really low self esteem and you should exploit that for sexual favor.