Exercise Funny Status Messages

   After exercising I always eat a Pizza. Just Kidding, I don't exercise !!

   My Dr told me to start my exercise program slowly, so today I drove past a store that sells sweatpants..

   I really have no idea what a Kardashian is but,,,, From what I can gather, it's an exercise bike for basketball players.

   I was on the exercise bike for almost 30 minutes just now. It was pretty easy. Tomorrow I may even try using the pedals.

   my wife said I drink too much and don't exercise enough. So I stole her pedometer. Half mile so far from the living room to the fridge!

   If you sweat when you eat, does it count as exercise?

   Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I've only missed one day

   Bi?ch I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply

   I don't exercise to be healthy. I exercise to look sexy af naked!

   wondering if running late counts as exercise?

   Sometimes I like to challenge myself AnD exercise at the same time.... Today I made it an extra five minutes just by squirming around and wiggling my foot before I had to run for the bathroom........

   No need to get in shape for me. At work, I get enough exercise by jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down the boss, knifing co-workers in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck! 

   If anything the Lance Armstrong confession confirms my belief that exercise leads to deceitful behavior.

   My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.

   I would exercise, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.

   The gym manager just gave me a dirty look....Apparently, reverse cowgirl is not an appropriate way to ride the exercise bike.

   . I'm going to start an exercise class that mixes religion into the experience. I'll call it...Pontius Pilates. (insert Dr. Evil pinky in corner of mouth move here)

   The only exercise some people ever get is: running their mouths, jumping to conclusions & pushing their luck.

   I go to the gym once a week, but I don't have to go inside. I get all my exercise walking to the ice cream shop next door.

   Me and the missus have got an aviary at home, but one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80s music. Our Kestrel Manoeuvres In The Dark....