Kalleygirl Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Girl On Fire by Alicia Keyes would be a great theme song for a Vagisil commercial!
←Rate | 02-13-2013 11:09 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the event of a nuclear war, the only things that will survive are roaches . Which means US should still have a functioning government
←Rate | 04-21-2015 18:41 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon My vacuum cleaner doesn't suck as much as it used to, it must have gotten married.
←Rate | 04-21-2015 18:35 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anal bleaching... Because some a**holes need to lighten up.
←Rate | 04-21-2015 18:47 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently putting alka seltzers in my pockets while getting baptized and pretending I'm possessed by the devil is not funny.
←Rate | 03-15-2013 04:12 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got an email saying "want to see Taylor Swift Live"? I thought it was a ransom demand....
←Rate | 04-21-2015 21:43 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because it's called make-up... doesn't mean it's supposed to makeup 99% of your face.
←Rate | 03-15-2013 04:17 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look all I'm saying is that if it was not meant to be eaten, it wouldn't be shaped like a taco..
←Rate | 04-21-2015 18:39 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon Accidentally went grocery shopping hungry and now I'm the proud owner of isle 6...
←Rate | 04-21-2015 21:54 by Kalleygirl Comments (3)  


   messageicon I bet if pigs could fly, their wings would taste delicious!
←Rate | 02-13-2013 11:21 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon The other day I saw a sign at the hospital that said "Family Planning" use rear entrance and I thought to myself that's great advice...
←Rate | 03-13-2015 06:32 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only exercise some people ever get is: running their mouths, jumping to conclusions & pushing their luck.
←Rate | 03-15-2013 04:38 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest? A rabbi cuts them off and a priest sucks them off.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 13:20 by Kalleygirl Comments (0)  

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