friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Goodbye Memorial Day weekend. Like a fifth of Vodka and a handful of prescription painkillers you made Monday more bearable......

   It's Friday! The only two who aren't excited about that are my bank account and my liver.

   I bet Jesus was pissed that he missed the whole weekend and then woke up on a Sunday when the liquor stores are closed.

   Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok by friday;)

   "Knock knock", "who's there?", "Weekend", "Weekend who?", "We can wish it was the weekend, but its MOnday!"

   "Yesterdays history, tomorrows a mystery, and today is Friday"

   Me Monday ƪ(´~`")∫ Tuesday (-____-)"" Wednesday (⌣́_⌣̀) Thursday Ҩ( > ̯ < )Ҩ Friday (ˆ⌣ˆ)ง Saturday ~('▽'~) (~'▽')~ Sunday (˘ʃ_ƪ˘)

   All my updates this past weekend were super updates. I'm back to my regular updates now...

   I’m just glad it’s almost Friday! It’s almost Friday, right? Well, it’s close to Friday. It’s never going to be Friday is it?

   I remember when a wasted weekend had absolutely nothing to do with being unproductive.

   The longest distance in the world is from Monday morning to Friday afternoon.

   Why is it that one who smokes marijuana is automatically a pothead, but one who drinks every weekend isn't a drunk?

   That drunk girl that steals my phone and pretends to be me on here every weekend is coming over tonight

   A lot of folks are going to be upset that the Zimmerman jury didn't come to a verdict tonight. A prime weekend looting night, down the drain..

   Fish have sex without penetration. Yes I was watching National Geographic all weekend.

   Friday night: 7pm. The annual Peter pulling contest will be at St. Taffy's. Everyone welcome.

   It's Friday! That means just two more days until Monday.

   This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China..

   To my Atheist friends: Who do you thank now that's Friday?

   I don't have to thank noone for Friday because its a natural phenomenon controlled by nobody but nature.