Exercise Funny Status Messages

   I count breathing as exercise.

   Chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise.

   Time for the shake weight exercise, minus the shake weight.

   whenever I say the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

   If it weren't for the fact that my bed is so far away from my computer, some days I wouldn't exercise at all.

   opening a gym called Resolutions in January. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50

   I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

   Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government

   How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?

   Sex: It might be good exercise, but that's not why we do it!

   Some people are so lazy, they would actually quit having sex if someone just told them its a good form of exercise

   Yes, people who exercise live longer. But those extra years are spent...umm...excercising!

   When I exercise at the gym, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.

   If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

   it's very important to exercise as we get older. my uncle started walking 5 miles a day when he was 65. today he's 90 and we haven't a sweet jesus clue where he is.

   a tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

   I didn't text you just to exercise my fingers, I was expecting a reply back...

   My favorite exercise after a heavy meal is regret.

   My exercise program consists of having a lot of stairs in my home,, and forgetting things.

   I tried exercise but I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.