Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Since Kanye wants to write a song named 'I Am God' I wanna see him bring his dead mother back to life again.

   mother nature... turning february into white history month...

   Ok mother nature we beat the snow record now there's no need to run the score up!

   My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that's when I hired my first hooker.

   That was Samuel Jackson's first ever public appearance without saying "mother$ucker"

   What is it about your mother's basement that makes you so tough on the internet?

   When your girl accuses you of something just say "My mother was right about you." That will transfer attention from you to your mother.

   "Dad what's an infinite loop?"..."Ask your mother."... "Mom what's an infinite loop?"... "Ask your father."... "Dad what's an infinite loop?"... "Ask your........

   in the words of our dear beloved and departed, Mother Theresa - “these hoes ain’t loyal”

   Somehow she tracked that fart back to me....and that's how I met your mother.

   How I met your mother? Well son, it was arranged.

   Daughter: Mama, can a girl get pregnant from @n@l s3x? Mother: Why sure, Honey. Where do you think lawyers come from?

   Of all days, who deletes someone on Mother's Day....just for that, I'm never talking to my mom again.

   Let us all heed Vanilla Ice's advice on a day like this......"Word to your mother"

   Pay attention to all these women that are posting pictures with their mom's on Mother's Day because that is what they are going to look like!

   I've have met everyone's mother today via Facebook

   I've officially met everyone's mother yesterday via Facebook so I'm pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies

   Really, Fresh Prince's mother? One little fight and you ship him across the continent? You won't get a "#1 Mom" mug from me, I assure you.

   Young man, does your mother know you ask girls for nudes on social media?

   Never tell your wife she is just like her mother, even if it's true.