Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Just read a story in a magazine that a woman is claiming she was raped by an alien.. Big Deal!.. So was Lady Gaga's mother

   If you're for gay marriage then you are also for hurting children. Kids need a mother and a father:not two dads or two moms. There is no arguing this fact.

   If you always generalize about women, you're ugly, poor, insecure, or you might have grown up in your mother's basement. At the worst-case scenario, you've got a crap partner.

   Relationship status ☐ Seeing someone ☐ Not seeing anyone ☐ Your mother is a wh*re ☑ SHUT THE F&CK UP, I'M WATCHING THE BATMAN TRILOGY!

   Looks like Mother Nature is pulling Winter's Band-Aid off one hair at a time!

   The wind just blew a plactic bag away from me at this table and down the sidewalk. "That one's on you, Mother Earth."

   Dating a single mother.... It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

   Whenever my children question my knowledge on any subject, I just remind them that their mother is older than the Internet.

   Its trash pick up day tomorrow and my dumb neighbor forgot to take out my mother-n-law!!!! Now i've gotta dump trash all over his yard again!

   time to buy a mother's day gift with my mom's money :)

   For Mother's Day I'm getting my mom a camera that will allow her to take less than 45 minutes to take a picture. If they make one...

   Seeing my ex with a new guy doesnt upset me.. My mother taught me at a young age to give me used toys to the less fortunate.

   Wonder what Emeniem does for his mom on Mother's Day ?

   Happy Mother's Day & Everyday to all the Moms out there.

   Thanks to Maury I've only had to buy one Mother's Day gift for several years.

   Half way to my mom's place for Mother's Day,,, only have about 3 more feet of digging.

   apparently my wife and I weren't on the same page with what she wanted for Mother's Day. Who knew there was more than one kind of "facial"?

   To all the Moms: "Happy Mothers Day"! And to all the Dads: "Happy Sunday.. Mother Fu€Kers"!!

   I am as nervous as Oscar Pistorius's mother on Mother's Day.

   Happy Mother's Day to all the teen moms who just released a back door p0rn video this week.