Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed

   Im Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good ;)

   you know its sad when your mother is on facebook and guys younger than you are poking her.

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enoug

   in front of his home with every electric fan he owns blowing upward, in a defiant act against Mother Nature.....Enough with the snow lady, just go watch "The Waltons" reruns until Spring......

   My father was a dentist and my mother was a manicurist.They kept fighting tooth and nail.

   Definition of mixed emotions: seeing your mother-in-law go over a cliff in your brand new Porsche.

   Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.

   My son is on 11 months and can't talk but sometimes I think it's fun to imagine what he would say if he could... like this morning; I imagined him saying "Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster

   Dear Mother Nature, hey, thanks [sneezes] for choosing POLLEN for plant reproduction....no, really[sneezes]....the stuff is great.....

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

   I saw your mother naked and everything went black!!! I think my eyes were trying to protect my heart!!!

   So it's mothers day and I had trouble deciding what to get my mother-in-law I couldn't choose between a Toyota Prius or a holiday in Haiti, so eventually I plumped for luging lessons in Vancouver.

   trust is like a mirror you can fix it if its broken but you can still see the crack in that mother fuckers reflection!

   I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask "Mother,what was war?" -Eva Merriam.

   would like to say on this last day of Winter. Winter, Kiss my Mother F*#$ing A$$ and DON'T HURRY BACK!!!

   It would make your mother proud if you could NOT, walk, talk, spell, and wear your damn pants like you were raised by a rap video your whole life.

   "no one told you life was gonna be this way," but later in the same song... "you're mother warned you there'd be days like these"...well did your mother tell you or not? Can I get some consistency please?

   "no one told you life was gonna be this way," but later in the same song... "you're mother warned you there'd be days like these"...well did your mother tell you or not? Can I get some consistency please?

   Mother rabbit to baby bunny: "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions."